MONICA:
How've the dreams been lately?
Mine have been taking off again like a missle.
Had a great redaing from an expert a few eeks back.She was really in tune with me.
Love to get a solid reading from an intutive though.The real kind...one with the gift.
There are so many of them out here in California...that don't have the gift; and yet are claiming so. Making a lot of money off of people who are despreate for help.
Problem is...just like anything else in life...i feel so many folks have gifts themselves, but it comes down to choices being made...
Do people want to do what may be necessary to expand their gifts?Lot of them don't.
So they get clogged up...and egos, prides, fears, whatever...get in the wy of these people becoming clean channels...tools...for the Universe to use.
I'm continually working on staying as clean and clear as possible for all of my known and unknown gifts to be used for the Universe.
Giving up smoking and coffee are two things I'm working at.But also...not allowing people to take me off the road I chose in previous lives to follow in this one is the biggest thing I can do.
Because I'm the one who allows myself to sign off on crap I don't want.
Believe me...this sounds more simple than it's been.
But I'm finally turning the point.You wouldn't believe how much stuff has repeated itself in my life until recently.
I really thought it was about burning down bridge after bridge to finally have the lifeI want.It's not about setting fire to anything or anyone...except me.It could be the scorpio sun, cap rising and leo moon...plus a lotta Saturn and Jupiter.But it's more pwoerful just to realize I finally woke up.
Future's clearer and stronger and all mine.Thank God for the Universe...having so much patience love and trust in me.And thank god for me choosing to be part of that Universe...no matter where it takes me.
I recently had this miraculous dream...where the ocean was all around me...and I was watching
MYSELF...falling out a car...which ws at the peak of a long, tall bridge...which ended at the highest point above all this water.
And to watch myself fall out of the driver's side of this car before it fell off the bridge...and myself falling down to the ocena below...was so real. So crystal clear.
I'll paint this one of these days.
Now...it's about getting life ready to move to L.A.Time to get my screenplays and film directing on a whole new road.Finally embacing successes I was so afraid of before.And...staying on my own road...leading to my own bridge into the cosmos.
Keep in touch.
Always the best.
MARK
Saturday, October 20, 2007
THE L.A. SWIM
This may be wierd...so just hang in there...
It wouldn't be much to assume everything about anything in L.A.
This comes from a 6 year absence now from the City of watchmacallit Angels,
which started from trying to hold too much of a world together with my own hands.
I don't mind callouses, because there's something uniquely undefined, yet still very really about picking away at and finally pulling off my own dead skin.
Plus it tickles.
I mentioned something about the wierd.
Hanging out up here in northern Cali was good for the soul; even though at the same time these past 6 years, it was more than just murder on the wallet.
More like cannabilism by anorexia.
Don't understand?
That's okay.
It's cool if you do and don't.
You keep tearing it all apart just to finally eat away at it, devouring by the hour, only to never get full, because you don't even know you're forcing yourself to throw it all up at the same time.
Or maybe I just thought the vomit was my special sauce?
So, it's more than just carousel-ling ( even a word?) through life.
I knew some kind of the cycle would eventually break down.
Either by my own hands or a combining of mine and others.
Basically? To the point? More like this...
Outa UCLA'S MFA grad film school...
...with 15 feature screenplays completed and 10 more in various outlines; and an experiemntal short film I wrote, directed and edited...and crewing on numerous student films...
Crewing on a few indie feature films; then writing and selling a few low, low, low budget scripts finally led me to directing one of them.
That's when it all fell apart.
At least the directing side of my life.
2 years earlier...homeless on the streets of L.A., after life crashed and burned in my last year of film school.
2 ex - girlfriends who I found myself really close to even though it was never my nitention get involved past the sex side of it all...there were always the young and nubile actresses always around...
An angry landpord who I owed money to and a construction contractor boss who owed me back pay -- more than enough money to pay my landlord -- never came through.
Drugs and booze involved also along the way...didn't help keep me on the staying wide awake during most of a normie's life.
So it was OUTA HERE!
At least up north for awhile.
Lotsa construction work, digging ditches, remodeling homes.
Now...
Steady job with the precious state of California.
Soon...
Back into the waters off Santa Monica.
New screenplays and get back to making my third film.
It's been a strange trip since leaving in 2001.
That's what's good about leaving...always head into another future.
Cannibalism not withstanding.
And maybe even pounding some nails.
It wouldn't be much to assume everything about anything in L.A.
This comes from a 6 year absence now from the City of watchmacallit Angels,
which started from trying to hold too much of a world together with my own hands.
I don't mind callouses, because there's something uniquely undefined, yet still very really about picking away at and finally pulling off my own dead skin.
Plus it tickles.
I mentioned something about the wierd.
Hanging out up here in northern Cali was good for the soul; even though at the same time these past 6 years, it was more than just murder on the wallet.
More like cannabilism by anorexia.
Don't understand?
That's okay.
It's cool if you do and don't.
You keep tearing it all apart just to finally eat away at it, devouring by the hour, only to never get full, because you don't even know you're forcing yourself to throw it all up at the same time.
Or maybe I just thought the vomit was my special sauce?
So, it's more than just carousel-ling ( even a word?) through life.
I knew some kind of the cycle would eventually break down.
Either by my own hands or a combining of mine and others.
Basically? To the point? More like this...
Outa UCLA'S MFA grad film school...
...with 15 feature screenplays completed and 10 more in various outlines; and an experiemntal short film I wrote, directed and edited...and crewing on numerous student films...
Crewing on a few indie feature films; then writing and selling a few low, low, low budget scripts finally led me to directing one of them.
That's when it all fell apart.
At least the directing side of my life.
2 years earlier...homeless on the streets of L.A., after life crashed and burned in my last year of film school.
2 ex - girlfriends who I found myself really close to even though it was never my nitention get involved past the sex side of it all...there were always the young and nubile actresses always around...
An angry landpord who I owed money to and a construction contractor boss who owed me back pay -- more than enough money to pay my landlord -- never came through.
Drugs and booze involved also along the way...didn't help keep me on the staying wide awake during most of a normie's life.
So it was OUTA HERE!
At least up north for awhile.
Lotsa construction work, digging ditches, remodeling homes.
Now...
Steady job with the precious state of California.
Soon...
Back into the waters off Santa Monica.
New screenplays and get back to making my third film.
It's been a strange trip since leaving in 2001.
That's what's good about leaving...always head into another future.
Cannibalism not withstanding.
And maybe even pounding some nails.
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